


Mars and Jayden: Assorted Prompts

by dadsBBQparty, Liza0111



Category: Heavy Rain
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Northan, Writing prompt challenge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 10:22:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 9,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14952842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dadsBBQparty/pseuds/dadsBBQparty, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liza0111/pseuds/Liza0111
Summary: A series of prompts for Ethan/Norman.





	1. “Did I say that out loud?”

**Author's Note:**

> The other day I found this cool list of writing prompts on tumblr: http://imaginary-legendary-hamilton.tumblr.com/post/147791746936/writing-prompts. Greg volunteered to split it with me so here we are. Prompts are written in random order. #NorthanForever (Greg came up with this ship name, he is responsible for this)

 

“Ethan Mars, You are my dream man.”

 

The words left his lips like a slippery mess. He wouldn’t have even noticed it if it isn’t for Ethan’s sky blue eyes widening and staring at him with surprise.

 

“Norman, what did you say?” It takes Ethan a few seconds to react to the FBI agent’s remark. He might be a little tipsy himself, but he is still sober enough to have confidence in his hearing, despite all the talking and music playing in the background.

 

“Huhhh?” Norman slurs, taking another sip of his cocktail. “I didn’t……I didn’t say anything.”

 

“Yes you did.” Ethan can’t help but to chuckle lightly. Norman is definitely drunk. Through the past few weeks, he has been spending more time with the agent and picked up on a few of his habits. He notices Norman’s accent tends to grow stronger whenever he is frustrated, and now he knows the same thing applies when he is drunk too. “You just said I am your dream man.”

 

“I…….I……” Now it is Norman’s turn to gawk at him wide-eyed. The pinkish shade on his face grows deeper, and Ethan is quite sure it isn’t because of the alcohol. “Did I say that out loud?”

 

“Yup.” Ethan tilts his head slightly, smiling in amusement. Prior to their meet up, the profiler repeatedly told him he isn’t great at social gatherings and Ethan will probably get bored when they hang out, but right now he is anything but bored. “You just said that out loud.”

 

Norman frowns, he seems to have tried to find a way out of this but comes up empty. “Well… _…_ It is the truth.” He shrugs and admits lamely. Ethan almost laughs. Drunk Norman gives up a lot easier than sober Norman. “Anyway, what is in this?” He blinks blearily at his empty cocktail glass, “I feel like..........I feel like this has a lot of alcohol in it. But it tasted so sweet.”

 

“That’s because of the syrup.” Ethan raises a hand and ruffles Norman’s hair gently. “Here, I’ll walk you home. Don’t want you to pass out in the middle of the street.” It is impossible to not want to take care of Norman when he is like this. And if Ethan is being truthful to himself, it is really impossible for him to not want to take care of Norman in any circumstances. The young agent comes off at efficient and collected while he is at work, but outside of work, as Ethan recently learned, he can be quite a handful.  

 

“Yeah…...yeah sure. Let’s go home.” Norman takes out his wallet to pay and somehow nearly falls out of his chair. Ethan reacts quickly and grabs his arm before catastrophe strikes.  Norman’s movements are so dramatic and comedic that Ethan almost can’t believe his eyes. He sighs and puts down enough cash to cover their bill. “I got it. Here, hold on to my arm if you need to.”

 

“Hmmmm… _…_ Ethan. Ethan.” Norman tugs on Ethan’s left arm to get his attention. When Ethan turns his head, he is met with a blissful smile from the drunk FBI agent.

 

“I meant what I said. You really are my dream man.”

 

_God……He really is……adorable._ Now turning red himself, Ethan places a kiss on Norman’s lips. “Mhmm, and so are you, Norman.”

 


	2. "You deserve so much better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by Liza  
> Warning: character death, angst alert  
> im so sorry for this, I literally cried while writing

 

Norman Jayden has learned to despise the rain. This used to not be the case, but now rain only reminds him of everything that has gone terribly wrong in the past week. 

 

He can’t remember how it feels for things to be normal. What it is like to not have his heart throb in excruciating pain in his every waking moment. How he used to be able to wake up in the morning without immediately hating every aspect of his existence. Nothing will return to normal anymore. Not after what happened. 

 

Out of all the places in the world, he finds himself wandering into a graveyard this evening. He knows he should have came earlier, but all his past attempts have ended in him crying in his hotel room with empty triptocaine vials scattered around him. 

 

Each step feels like a knife digging deeper into his chest, tearing through his flesh. His head feels heavy and loopy; he doesn’t really sleep anymore. The closest thing to sleep he’ll get these days is blackouts from too much Tripto or alcohol. He prefers it that way because he doesn't dream when he blacks out. He knows this is bad, but he also doesn’t care anymore. 

 

He walks past several tombstones before stopping at the one that brought him here in the first place. Upon seeing the name engraved on the tombstone, Norman instantly loses all strength left in his body and sinks to his knees. Tears quickly fill his green eyes and he traces the writing with trembling fingers. 

 

_ Ethan Mars. _

 

The sky is closing in on him. Norman feels like he can’t breathe. The rain is coming down again. Of course it would. He wants to scream but there are no words. What are you supposed to say when your incompetence result in the death of the man you love? What does he deserve when Ethan Mars is lying dead beneath the ground, no longer able to hold his son in his arms and laugh under the sunlight again? What else is there left for him,  _ a pathetic useless good for nothing fucking loser who did everything wrong?   _

 

“Ethan, Ethan, I am so sorry, I am so sorry……” Leaning his forehead against the cold stone, the young agent can’t help but to sob helplessly in the rain. “This is all my fault, if I had caught the real killer, if I had worked harder, none of this would have happened…...you would still be alive today……This is all my fault……I am so sorry Ethan, I am so sorry……” 

 

How he wishes he can turn back time. He would have done anything to have a second chance at proving Ethan Mars’ innocence. He would have done anything to protect Ethan and his son.  But he failed them. 

He covers his face with his hands, his voice breaking in despair. “You deserve so much better……you deserve a happy life……I am……so sorry……” 

 

Norman remembers that day at the police station. Ethan Mars was still alive back then and he had begged him to find his son. Blue eyes full of anxiety and desperation, pleading him silently. He had promised him that he would, but he didn’t keep his promise. The thought brings more tears to his eyes, and the FBI profiler can’t help but to cry out in agony in front of Ethan's grave. His pleas will not be answered, as there is no one left to forgive him.  


 

 

_ There is no tomorrow for Ethan Mars. _ As Norman resigns to this fact, only one thing remains absolutely certain to him…… that he will never be able to get through this. 

 

  
  



	3. “It’s not what it looks like.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by Liza.  
> Im sorry about the angst from the last fic, here is so fluff for everyone!

 

If he can have any superpower of his choice, Ethan would definitely choose being able to disappear right about now. Shaun told him that he’ll be staying over at a friend’s house tonight, so he went ahead and made some plans for himself with a certain FBI agent he hasn’t seen in a few weeks.

 

It was a casual dinner date, but things may have gotten a little heated when the two men locked eyes for a few seconds too long and Norman Jayden really looked ridiculously attractive and he found his hand on the brunet’s waist and then _everything just happened_ and before he knew it he was pulling Norman into his arms and kissing him so hard and _why does Norman smell so good anyway_ and then-

 

And then the front door swung open and his teenage son walked in: “Hey dad I forgot to bring my laptop WOAH.”

 

“Son, it is not what it looks like.” Ethan tries to remain calm. He is trying his very best. But this was not suppose to happen and he honestly wants to die right now. Of course it isn’t like he doesn’t take his relationship with Norman seriously, in fact he is very very serious about Norman. It’s just there has been so much going on lately and he didn’t feel ready and he didn’t want to say anything to Shaun until everything has been settled. Also he wasn’t even sure how serious Norman feels about him and he didn’t want to make any assumptions. It could be the agent just wanted some company for his duration in this city and he is sure he is going to leave and go back to Washington at some point so maybe this won’t work out…...Alright. He definitely need to not let his thoughts roam freely like that.

 

Shaun gives him an incredulous look. “Dad, I am not blind.”

 

“Shaun-” The federal agent attempts to insert his input but is sadly denied. The boy only waves his hand in their direction and heads for the stairs upstair.

 

“I know you guys are seeing each other weeks ago. Dad, you are terrible at keeping secrets. And for the record, it doesn’t bother me. Just say you are dating him already.”

 

Norman and Ethan exchange a look with each other, both of them turning as red as a tomato.

 

“Well?” Ethan whispers, his hand slowly reaching out towards Norman’s hand. The criminal profiler doesn’t pull away.

 

“You heard you son.” Norman smiles at him warmly, a hint of shyness in his voice. “Let’s make it official.”

 

 


	4. Just Pretend To Be My Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by Greg lmao

The case was over. That was for sure. 

That's what made it so much more awkward to be in Norman Jayden’s car on their way to the police station. 

“What even is this about?” Ethan sighed, watching the concentration on the younger man’s voice as he watched the roads. Drizzling outside, but what else was new? 

“I-” 

The FBI agent’s face began to turn red. “Fuck, I didn't tell you,” he sighed. 

“No.” 

“I thought… you-” He shook his head, focusing yet again as he pulled over. The engine shut off, and an awkward silence fell over the car. “B-Blake has been telling me I'm not good enough for someone cool.” 

“Mature,” Ethan said, leaning against the window as he folded his arms. He had to laugh. “This is what the police spend their time talking about?” 

Norman shrugged his shoulders before sheepishly glancing around the car. “Please, Ethan Mars. Just please pretend to be my date. It'll really prove him wrong.” 

Ethan’s brows cocked. “Is this is a really weird way of you calling me cool?” he teased. 

Norman let out an embarrassed groan, gently hitting his forehead on the steering wheel. “I mean… yeah, you are pretty cool. Look at everything you've done…” 

“Fine. I'll do it. Especially since I'm already in the car,” Ethan said. Norman let out a sigh of relief as he started the car again. The engine roared as he turned back onto the street. “But I also wouldn't mind going on a real date, if that’s what you're angling for.”

Silence. 

Ethan glanced over at him, smirking at the pink on his face. 

“Y-Yeah, let's get dinner after this,” he damn near squeaked.


	5. I Think I'm in Love With You, and It Scares Me Half To Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gregory again 
> 
> tw// unrequited love

He was finally finishing the paperwork, and Norman just wanted out of his office. Fuck, he was going to be there overnight if he didn't finish soon. He wanted to go home and be away from her. He'd been in this garbage town for too long being pushed around by those awful cops. 

If people would just let him leave. 

His eyes darted from the paperwork to the door as he heard knocking. He groaned loudly and before he had the chance to say ‘please leave’, a face popped in. 

“Ethan Mars,” he gasped, dropping his pen onto the papers he had been going through. 

“Agent Jayden,” the architect started, walking into the office with his on the door. “I haven't seen you since…” 

“I broke you out,” Norman interrupted. “I know. I’m filling out the paperwork for that now.” 

“I haven't had the chance to thank you again,” Ethan replied. “My son wouldn't be alive without you. Thank you.”

Norman’s aggressive expression fell, softening at the mention. He noticed Ethan looked much healthier than the last time he saw him. He wondered if Ethan was going to be thinking the opposite for him. 

“You're welcome. I'm glad he's alive.” 

“I feel like I've been here every day, and I haven't seen you once…” Ethan said. “I keep getting stuck with that Carter guy, and… Well, he hates me.” 

“He hates everyone…” Norman muttered, picking up his pen again as if he was trying to rush things. “I'm sorry, I'm busy- I…” He glanced away from him, keeping his lips pursed. 

“Agent Jayden?” 

“P-Please leave, Ethan. I need to get this paperwork done so I can leave in the morning, and you're not-” When he looked at Ethan, his heart dropped. “... Making me want to leave…” 

“What is this about?” Ethan asked, letting the door slam after him. “I just wanted to see you. Why are you giving me the cold shoulder?” He sounded desperate. It was painful to listen to. 

Norman dropped his pen, standing up to face Ethan. He wished he could snap and make Ethan leave, but as much as he wanted to do that, his voice wavered while he looked at his concerned blue eyes. 

“I-I think… I'm in love with you,” he admitted to him, closing his eyes to avoid the look on Ethan’s face. “And I'm scared to death of it… Please give me space, Ethan… I can't… look at you and lie to myself about it.” 

There wasn't a reply from Ethan. Instead, just an uncomfortable groan. Exactly what Norman expected from him. 

“I understand,” Ethan finally whispered. “I'm sorry.” 

Norman opened his eyes to watch Ethan open the door. When that door shut, he slunk into the chair, looking back at the paperwork. 

He had to go home and get away from this town.


	6. You Can't Die. Please Don't Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by Greg. 
> 
> tw// character death

Ethan cupped Norman’s head in his hands. Both of them had been shot in the encounter with the real Origami Killer. Ethan managed to sneak behind Shelby and put a bullet in his brain, much like Shelby had made him do to a father of two. 

While Ethan had gotten grazed with the bullet, Norman was taking the bulk of the bullet that hit him. He was laying still. He’d given up on trying to keep it from bleeding. Ethan had pressed his jacket against the wound, applying pressure to it. 

“P-Please- Agent Jayden, you… You can't die. Please don't die. Don't die on me…” he begged. He saved his son, but he didn't think he could bare to lose someone- he didn't want to lose Norman Jayden. “Please don't do this to me. Please-” 

“Norman,” he interrupted, his voice weak as his green eyes glanced up at Ethan. “My name is Norman.” 

“Norman,” Ethan gasped out, looking down at him as he panted. “Please, Norman… conserve your strength.” 

Norman laughed bitterly, continuing to look up at Ethan. 

“I… I'm in love with you, Ethan,” he whispered to him, his hand shakily reaching up to touch his prickly cheek. It brought a smile to his lips. Ethan supported his hand with both of his, keeping it on his cheek. 

“I love you too,” he whispered as tears streamed down his cheeks. “Please, don't leave. What will- Shaun-” He couldn't think of a thing to say. He continuously choked up every sentence. 

“Take care of Shaun,” Norman said, using the rest of his strength to pull Ethan closer to him. Ethan pressed his lips to Norman’s briefly, hearing a sigh escape his lips as he did so. When Ethan pulled away, Norman smiled up at him. 

“I will…” 

There wasn't a response. 

When Ethan checked, he was gone. The smile was still on his lips as Ethan closed his eyes with his hand.


	7. Do You Think He Could Have Loved Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg with another fic!

It was rare to get visitors, but someone was definitely knocking on Norman’s hotel door. He stood up from his desk, hanging ARI on his shirt as he walked to the door. His legs felt heavy, and his throat felt sore. 

He hated this place. At this point, he was just excited to get back to Washington, and be away from this town. 

He unlocked the door, glancing out of it, and something in his body felt twisted. 

“Madison Paige. What are you doing here?” he asked him. “The case is closed… the killer’s dead.”

“I… heard you were leaving tomorrow. I wanted to thank you for saving Shaun Mars in person…” 

Norman’s face fell slightly. He sighed as he opened up the door wider, allowing her to step inside the small motel room. She walked in, and Norman closed the door, letting out a deep sigh. 

“Is something wrong?” Madison asked him. “You look terrible… Did you get into a fight?”

Norman couldn't really say she looked that great herself. She looked as though she hadn't slept in weeks. “Of fucking course something’s wrong…” he groaned, dragging his hands down his face. When he looked at his hands he noticed blood. He grimaced at it. “I saved… Shaun Mars, but…” 

Madison knew what he was saying. She frowned and looked at the ground as Norman walked to the stand beside his bed, picking up a tissue to hold to his nose. 

“It's not your fault that Ethan died. I've read all the reports… you were fighting the Origami Killer when they gave the order to shoot…” 

“We lost an innocent life,” Norman whispered, throwing the tissue in the trash. “Shaun Mars lost his fucking father because Carter Blake has his head up his fucking ass and doesn't know how to listen to me!” 

Madison watched as he tried to avoid her eye contact, and she stepped towards him, pulling the tall man into a hug. “It's not your fault… I wanted to blame you, but I can't… You didn't cause this…” He wanted to fight away from the hug, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. 

Norman let out a shaky groan as though he was trying to fight back tears. He returned the hug, looking down at the carpeted floor. 

“I was in love with him,” he admitted to her. It was strange to let the words out, but they were finally pouring out. He knew she was a journalist, but he couldn't even find a reason to care about this getting out anymore. “I just… wanted to save him and let him know how I felt… I'm so happy I could save Shaun, but…” 

Madison nodded against the hug slightly. “I understand…” she told him. 

“Th-This is one of the most selfish things I can ask at this time, but… do you think he could have loved me…?” 

Madison pulled away from the hug, her hands gripping Norman’s arms as she looked up at him. He could tell she was hurting too. She was the only person in the world at this moment who knew exactly how he felt. 

“Yes,” she whispered, looking up at his face. “If he was still here, I think he could have loved you…”


	8. “I swear it won’t happen again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by Liza.  
> Greg keeps on writing angst so I am here To Fight Him

 

“Norm. You didn’t answer my texts.”

 

Closing the door behind him, Norman more or less expected his boyfriend to question his lack of response for the past four and a half hours, but he can tell Ethan really is upset this time, and that is a rare occurrence. The FBI agent drops his head sheepishly, his eyes downcast and full of shame.

 

“I-I was working……”

 

“You always text me back as soon as possible when you are working.” Ethan is frowning, arms folded across his chest. Despite his outstanding job qualifications, one thing Norman Jayden isn’t good at is lying. Especially lying to him. “Norman, did you use ARI again?” Norman is usually exceptionally good at answering his texts, but he wouldn't be able to see those text messages in the first place if he was inside that virtual world created by those high-tech glasses again.......which always puts a toll on his health. The accusational tone hurts Ethan too, but he has to hear the answer from Norman.

 

The profiler pales, then his shoulder hunches despondently. There is no point keeping it a secret anymore, he can’t lie to Ethan’s face. “......I am really sorry, Ethan.” He begins, “I know I said I won’t use it for solving cases anymore, but I just needed…...a little help today. I know we have all the clues we need to find the suspect, I just couldn’t…...help it.” Norman knows for a fact Ethan is disappointed, and that is about a hundred times worse than him being mad. He wants to explain himself, but what is there to say? He broke a promise he made to his boyfriend. He deserves all the reprimand he gives him. “I……I didn’t use it for too long today……and I didn’t take any Tripto.” He adds in a small voice.

 

Ethan sighs deeply, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. Norman thinks he would get scolded by Ethan for the first time since they started dating, but what the architect does entirely surprises him. The father walks closer to him and half kneels in front of him, looking up at the wide eyed agent and taking a hold of his hand.

 

“Norm, remember how you promised me we would grow old together?” The question that leaves his lover’s mouth isn’t one that the FBI investigator expected. His face gets hotter at the embarrassing mention. “I-I mean, yeah……”

 

Ethan smiles. “You said we’ll be one of those annoying old couples who do everything together, go everywhere together, and you would never leave me, you still remember that, right?”

 

“Yes……”

 

Ethan squeezes Norman’s hand, his voice suddenly growing more emotional. “I know ARI is useful to you, but it is too dangerous, Norman. It might be selfish, I might be holding you back from a promising career, but I need you to keep yourself safe and healthy for my sake……I really can’t lose you.” There is a slight tremble that nearly breaks his voice as he imagines what it would be like to live without Norman, and Ethan takes a deep breath shakily.  “I know you aren’t……used to staying at one place, and having somewhere to belong to. But you have people who care about you, you _are_ my future now, and I need to make sure you know how important this is to me.”

 

“Ethan……” Norman can feel his eyes watering up, and he curses himself for being so embarrassingly sensitive, but Ethan’s words really strike a chord within him. He has never felt this loved and valued before, and now he is treasured by this amazing man named Ethan Mars who is also the love of his life. “I am so sorry, I wasn’t thinking……I shouldn’t have done it. I swear it won’t happen again.” He feels so stupid. What can be more important than staying by Ethan’s side? Nothing means more to him than Ethan’s love and happiness. “I’ll send ARI back to my superior in Washington first thing tomorrow, I promise.”

 

“Thank you, Norm.” Ethan is smiling up at him and Norman can see glimpse of tears in his eyes too. His heart starts aching instantly, and the FBI agent opens his arms to hug the man tightly. “I am so sorry for always making you worry, I promise I’ll try to get better at it……” He whispers.

 

“It’s fine, I’ll keep reminding you till you know it by heart.” Ethan laughs softly and kisses his cheek. “Remember you promise you’ll be there when Shaun goes off to college, then when he graduates college. You are going to be at our son’s wedding, if he chooses to get married. You are going to be part of all of that. I am afraid you are going to be stuck with me for a long time, Norm.”  

 

“I want to be part of everything in your life too…… Ethan.” Norman sniffles, burying his face on the crook of Ethan’s neck. It is unbelievable how much Ethan Mars changed his life. He somehow managed to motivate him to get rid of all his bad habits and make him a better person, and he can’t thank him enough for it. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

 


	9. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw:: drug use/// 
> 
> This one's by Greg.

Norman had been spending more and more time with Ethan the past year. It started out as simple check ins with him and Shaun twice a month. It wasn't his responsibility to take care of them- that should have been up to the people who specialized in trauma recovery- but Shaun only wanted to talk to him and Ethan. Ethan thought it was because Norman was the one to save him. The profiler couldn't really deny Shaun Mars’ requests to see him. He wasn't heartless. 

That was how it started. Now, he felt as if he was in Philadelphia as much, if not more than, he was in DC. He was the first person the distressed father would call whenever there was an issue with Shaun now, even passing over Grace. Norman had even been called to babysit Shaun overnight when Ethan had a conference to go to. 

Norman adored Shaun. He was a lovely boy. He was smart, polite, and he cared for others even when he was the one who was often in crisis. He enjoyed their time together. 

Although, Norman couldn't ignore Ethan. Professionalism was his worry. There were so many instances he could have lost his job because of Ethan, including letting him out of jail. He knew if that ever came out he would be screwed. He wasn't concerned about Ethan, though. There was a bizarre trust between them that he would have never been able to explain to an outsider. Ethan was the kind of man he truly believed he could tell everything. 

Ethan became his friend. The two would regularly meet for drinks when Grace had Shaun. It started out because of the loneliness Ethan felt with the separation from his son, but now it was because they enjoyed each other’s company. They would meet for drinks, and sometimes they would fall for things that would definitely make Norman lose his job. 

It was one of those nights where Norman valued his privacy with Ethan. They were sitting on the architect’s plush carpet late at night, watching reruns of older shows. This time it was Scrubs. It was on for the noise. The two of them couldn't focus on a show at their age. 

“Don't you get drug tested?” Ethan asked Norman as he handed the profiler the joint he insisted they pull out. One of the lesser illegal activities they'd participated in. He asked every time, but Norman never answered honestly. 

“I’m in the FBI,” Norman muttered, taking a hit from the joint as he leaned back against the couch. He glanced at Ethan as he handed him the joint. The father didn't have any idea of how serious his drug use was. Weed was absolutely nothing. “I know how to get away with it.” Norman was a parent’s nightmare. If only Ethan knew how inappropriate it was that he trusted him so dearly with Shaun. 

“Reassuring,” Ethan said dryly. He took a hit of the joint, coughing as he handed it back to Norman. He was lucky enough to work from home most days. He knew Ethan would be screwed with random drug testing. It was one of the things they considered when he was helping him apply for jobs… not that it was his job to help the Mars family, again. 

As he took another hit, he looked at Ethan. It took him months to figure out what this feeling was. His heart ached. Ethan was recovering, yes, but he was still deeply in pain. There's no way he could ever fully recover from losing one son and the trials he went through to save Shaun. Killing a man was never something he could tell a therapist, so Ethan obviously told the FBI agent beside him everything about it since. Norman wanted to keep him safe, tell him everything would be okay. Except, it never would be ‘okay.’ 

Norman loved Ethan Mars. He had so much love for him that sometimes it felt like suffering to be in the same room for him. A suffering he could never run away from. He could never avoid Ethan. 

The passing of the joint went for a few minutes. The worst part was how sober Norman felt, and judging by Ethan’s face, he wasn't very intoxicated either. It wasn't that the drug was failing its job. Their minds were constantly spinning from one thing to another. It felt impossible to escape reality. The reality that hit them harder everyday. 

“Remember the time… we were driving to pick up Shaun… and you couldn't for the life of you figure out where the school was?” Ethan whispered softly, closing his eyes as he reminisced. 

“Sorry,” Norman said, a quiet laugh escaping his lips. 

“Isn't part of your requirements that you… have to know which direction north is?” he asked him softly. It was a joke. Norman was initially thrown off by Ethan’s dry humor, but now he could laugh at the jokes. Even when they were at his expense.

“I… just got distracted,” Norman answered. Only with Ethan he would get lost. 

“I know,” Ethan said. 

“I just get… lost when…” 

Norman closed his mouth, glancing over at Ethan. He could see he still had his eyes closed. He decided not to finish his sentence. Don't ruin this moment. The one peaceful part of his life- just sitting with Ethan. 

“When what?” Ethan pried. 

“When I have things on my mind, Ethan,” Norman quietly tried to cover. It was only with Ethan he lost his cool. It was only with him he felt his tongue tied. 

“You know, Norman… it's hard with your sense of direction. You're never able to find your way to a pickup line,” Ethan said softly, opening his eyes to meet Norman’s faint green eyes with those crystal blue treasures. Norman felt his breath hitch. Again, he was speechless as he looked at Ethan. “I know it's hard for you. I'm patient, but I'm getting scared you'll never tell me.” 

“T-Tell ya what?” Norman breathed. He knew. He knew what Ethan wanted him to say, but he couldn't. Instead, he let the tenseness rule the room. 

“How you feel about me,” Ethan answered quietly. He took Norman’s hand, and the profiler couldn't help but run his fingers over his hand. His heart sunk as he passed over where part of his finger should have been. Seconds later, the heaviness he felt was filled with fluttering as Ethan leaned closer to him. 

The older man let go of his hand, instead bringing it to Norman’s cheek. Norman was glad he shaved that morning as Ethan’s thumb ran over his cheek over the scar on his cheek. It felt like an eternity before Ethan leaned closer, pressing his soft yet chapped lips against Norman’s lips. It stung- Norman had a bad habit of chewing the skin off his lips when he was nervous. But the bliss he felt outdid any discomfort he felt. He could taste the smoke on the other man’s lips as they kissed, and he was sure he could taste it on him as well as Norman opened his mouth for him. Ethan’s beard scratched against his skin, causing a small groan to leave his mouth. He could feel Ethan’s hand run through his hair, causing his bangs to fall down his face. Norman’s hands reached out to him. One of his hands gripped his shirt as he pulled him closer, and his other hand held onto the back of Ethan’s head as if he was beckoning him to never leave. 

Ethan crawled over Norman, his knees on either side of his legs. He could feel himself being pressed against the couch. He briefly got a whiff of the cologne Ethan had put on earlier that morning, making him purr. Ethan let out a small laugh against his lips, pulling away finally to catch his breath. Their breath was heavy, and Norman felt almost as if he forgot how to breath as he gasped. 

“E-Ethan Mars,” he said in disbelief. 

“Norman Jayden,” the other man replied as he panted. The younger man still had a grip on him, both of his hands falling to his forearms. He couldn't take his eyes off of Ethan. He was handsome, and Norman was falling for him all over again. A smile appeared on his lips. One he hadn't felt in quite a while. Ethan mimicked the gesture, and Norman feared his heart would leap out of his body. “You don't have to have a degree in psychology to notice all the times you wanted to tell me how you felt. I've been so fond of you. I don't know how you never noticed…” 

“It's hard to notice when it's about yourself,” Norman breathed, letting go briefly to feel his cheeks. They were hotter than they'd ever been. Ethan moved his hand from his face and closed the distance between them again, and Norman took the chance to wrap his arms around his neck. He had been waiting for this for so long.


	10. "This is, by far, the dumbest thing you’ve ever done."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by Greg :*

FBI agents should really be able to keep a handle on their guns. It must have been a requirement. Although, Norman Jayden couldn't keep his tabs on his handgun for his actual fucking life. It was far too easy for it to fall out of his pocket from his fight with Mad Jack, the blue lagoon, and even when he was at the warehouse. That was all with just one murder case. 

The amount of times he lost his gun had become a running gag in the Mars household. Norman would come over during the weekend with an ugly shiner and all he would have to say on the matter was, “Dropped my gun.” Granted, the FBI agent would do everything in his power to not kill anyone, but this was ridiculous. 

He lost even his spare gun so many times. It was to the point where Ethan wasn't kidding when he told him that he needed to handcuff one of his guns to his own hand. The longer it went, the less he was joking. 

“Why do you keep it in your pocket and not holsters like a normal cop?” he asked one night. 

“Uhhhh, I dunno. I forget to put those on,” Norman admitted. 

How was he in the FBI? 

It was nine AM, and usually Norman would have been in DC until the next Friday. He was staying with the Mars family during the week as he worked on a case in Philadelphia. He usually left at seven and returned at five or six. He didn't typically come back in two hours. 

He tiptoed around the apartment, searching for Ethan. Shaun was home sick, and neither of them wanted to wake him up. 

Finally, he found Ethan brushing his teeth in the bathroom, startling the ever living life out of him when he tapped him on the shoulder. 

“Fuck- Norman- what the fuck are you doing here?” Ethan whispered after spitting out the toothpaste and grabbing a hand towel to wipe his face as he recovered. At least they knew he was stealthy- a good thing to be as a cop. 

“Ethan,” Norman whispered, shifting closer to him. “D-Don't worry, but I think I left my gun here… We need to find it before Shaun does.” 

“D-Don't worry?” Ethan stuttered, his eyes widening. “You leave your gun here- loaded-” 

“Possibly lo- yeah, it's loaded.” 

“And you tell me not to worry about the fact that my eleven year old son might find it…” Ethan grumbled, pursing his lips. 

“Yes,” Norman said, flashing an uncertain smile. “C-Can you help?” 

Ethan sighed, setting his toothbrush down. “I have no choice.” 

What a way to spend a morning. Ethan briefly wondered if he could get away with murder if the gun wasn't found, but he quickly reminded himself he'd most likely miss Norman if something happened to him. 

They searched everywhere. Ethan even snuck into Shaun’s room to do a double check- no gun in there. 

They checked the couches. Between the cracks. The table. The fridge. The bathroom. The dirty laundry. Norman’s luggage. Above the TV. Under the couch. 

“What the hell we were doing last night?” Ethan sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter. It was almost eleven. They'd been searching for two hours.

“Shaun went to bed at seven,” Norman recalled. “We… ate the leftovers for dinner, watched a movie- we already checked the couch- uh-” His eyes lit up. “Did we check the bed?” 

“N-No, cuz you slept on the couch,” Ethan sighed. 

“Not the whole night. I'm offended you forgot,” Norman joked before rushing to Ethan’s room. 

Nothing in the bed. Zilch. 

“Did you check your car?” 

“Of course.” 

The two of them made the bed before sitting on top of it. Norman groaned quietly before laying back on it. Ethan followed suit, grabbing Norman’s hand as the taller man pulled him closer, watching as he crawled on top of him. Ethan rested his head on his chest, and Norman saw his face going sour. 

“Norman?” he asked. 

“Yeah?” 

“... Did you check your shoulder holsters?” 

Norman’s face fell, pushing Ethan off of him to reach into his suit. He soon had the same look as Ethan as he pulled his gun out of its holster. 

“I-I… forgot I had these on,” he said sheepishly. “Oh my fuckin’ christ…” 

Ethan snickered, standing up off the bed. “This is, by far, the dumbest thing you’ve ever done,” he cooed before leaning closer to press his lips against Norman’s. The younger man laughed against his lips before standing up off the bed. “You almost gave me a heart attack.” 

“I’m sorry,” Norman said, returning the gun to its holster before he pulled Ethan closer by the waist. “I'll make it up to you, okay? I love you.” 

“I love you too, you fucking moron,” Ethan said, kissing his cheek before pointing to the door. “Go to work. Say it was an emergency with Shaun- don't tell them about the gun.” 

“Of course. I'm not _that_ fuckin’ stupid,” Norman insisted, walking out of the bedroom. He had to remind himself how lucky he was to have such an understanding partner- most people wouldn't have ended that with a kiss.


	11. I Shouldn't Be In Love With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written in so long it felt like so I did this prompt to get back in the swing. Something semi-fluffy. As fluffy as Greg gets. Enjoy.

Norman was holding his hand down against the bar table. Ethan knew it was so his tremors wouldn't be as noticeable, but it's hard not to notice when you spend so much time with someone. He used to think it was just his nerves, but over the months, he realized it was something deeper. It was one of the many things that concerned him about Norman. Ironic to worry about an FBI agent so much. 

Ethan pressed his hand on top of Norman’s, catching the other man’s attention. His mouth was open as if he longed to say something, but no words came out. Instead, he closed it and looked back down at the bar. He was drinking vodka. It was rare he drank anything else. 

The duo had started these late night bar meetings a few months prior. Norman was the only person Ethan knew who he didn't have to explain things to- the anxiety, the scars, the missing limb. He already knew. Therefore, in a twisted way, it made sense to spend time with the agent who saved him and his son’s life. Norman hesitantly agreed. He was unsure at first, but now he was calling Ethan first to set up their meetings. 

“I'm honestly sick of getting relocated,” Norman muttered. “I don't mind making it up here for the weekends, but now they want me in Alabama on Monday. I don't know how I used to be able to handle this. I-” 

“Don't think about it now,” Ethan said quietly. When Norman was worried, his brows knitted. All this conversation was going to do was worry him when it wasn't an immediate concern. He brought it up so often. Nothing Ethan could say would lift his spirits. “Talk about it tomorrow. I don't want you going to bed depressed again.” 

“Happens more likely than you'd think,” Norman replied, picking Ethan’s hand up to set it back on the table. He sighed quietly. “But you're right. This can wait until tomorrow. Tell me, how is Shaun doing?” 

“He's good,” Ethan told him softly. As good as he could be after everything that happened. “He wants you to go to his next baseball game- but if you're going to Alabama-” 

“I should just fucking quit.” Norman fell right back into his mood, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. Ethan wasn't opposed to the thought. The longer he knew Norman, the unhappier he seemed. The job was draining. He didn't know the half of it. Norman couldn't tell him half of the things that followed the job. He wished he knew what was happening in his head. He longed to be able to take some of that stress away from him- Ethan could tolerate it as his own. 

“You wouldn't quit for a baseball game,” Ethan said, forcing out a joke. 

“Watch me,” Norman grumbled. “I would. I haven't been able to go to anything. Shaun’s invited me to school festivals, plays, so many baseball games- I've gone to one. One game. It must break his heart.” 

“Norman, he understands. He thinks-” 

“He's eleven now. I don't want him thinking I don't care about him.” 

Ethan could never understand this drive Norman had to take care of Shaun. He wasn't Norman’s son. Shaun treated him like a guardian with how often he came over, but he wasn't. Norman refused to brush anything aside with Shaun, though. He would insist he needed to be there; he wants to be there. The architect was scared to tell him anything. If Norman cared so much about Shaun, it would be wrong for him to crush him with reminding him he wasn't his responsibility. 

“He knows you care. You care more than anyone else has- even my parents are out of the loop more than you,” Ethan said. He wasn't lying. Norman would go as far as to call Shaun to say goodnight periodically. 

Norman glanced over at Ethan. He looked absolutely drained, and his eyes were starting to become red from the constant rubbing. 

“Talk to me. It's something more than Shaun…” Ethan whispered. Norman’s hand shook enough that he couldn't steady it on the table. He held out his hand for Norman to take, but the profiler ignored it. He closed his eyes instead. 

“It's you,” he whispered. 

Ethan sighed at the comment. Part of him saw it coming. The way Norman would look at him as if he couldn't breathe. The way the profiler would dance around touching him in the slightest as if he was terrified to feel him. The way his fingers would curl around the nearest object Ethan smiled at him. The small blush that appeared near his ears whenever they were too close. 

He had been hoping it was the case. 

“Me?” he asked him softly. Norman was becoming more open with him over the past few months. He didn't expect him to be this open, but he was glad. 

“You,” Norman repeated. He turned back to his drink, picking it up before bringing it to his lips. He took a deep sip before hanging his head as the glass slams on the table. “I shouldn't be in love with you, Ethan Mars. You're… my best friend. You've got so much on your plate. If you wanted to know so badly, I'm telling you, but I'm so sorry.” He ran a hand through his hair, staring down at the wooden table. “I'm so selfish- I just want to… quit and be around you, but-” 

“It's not selfish,” Ethan told him quietly. He took his hand, this time not looking for an answer. He kissed the top of it before Norman looked at him with a perturbed expression. “I'm… happy you admitted to it. I want you to be part of my life in that way.” 

Norman's green eyes widened and he looked from the drink to Ethan before back at the drink. He squeezed the older man’s hand in his as tight as he could before he put his face in his free hand as if he were trying to hide it. Ethan noticed he was smiling. 

“Th-Thank you.” He fell silent for a moment before whispering, “But I actually do… enjoy being around Shaun, too… You're just a perk…” 

Ethan grinned at him, leaning over to kiss his cheek quickly. “I know.”


	12. "Look, I Don't Have Much Time, But I Wanted To Say I Love You"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is by greg 
> 
> fine. Fine. Here. I have fluff guys. Heres fluff take it

Ethan couldn't imagine what would be so important that would make Norman insist he had to see him before his flight back to DC at four in the morning. The case was shut. Everything was solved. Shaun was asleep, or at least Ethan hoped he was despite the fact the worried father forgot to turn his ringer off overnight. It was a scramble to answer the phone at two am, but Norman sounded relieved that he did. 

He noticed the FBI agent waving through the window thirty minutes later. Ethan opened the front door and stepped outside in just his robe and boxers; he was cold outside, but he didn't want to wake Shaun if he hadn't already. 

“Agent Jayden, what happened?” he whispered. 

Norman looked anxious. Really anxious. He was dressed down a lot- messy hair and a sweater. This couldn't have been related to the job. 

“E-Ethan, it's Norman,” he said quietly. “Call me Norman…” 

“Norman,” he corrected quietly. 

“Were you asleep?” he asked, sounding concerned. He brought a hand up to his mouth but quickly stopped himself. “I'm sorry if I woke you, I-”

“It's fine,” Ethan whispered, putting a hand on Norman’s shoulder to calm him down. It worked. He seemed to relax a bit to his touch. “Norman, are you alright?” 

Norman nodded. “I'm fine. Everything's fine. I just needed to see you before I left,” he said, starting to retain some of the professionalism that Ethan was used to. 

“What's up?” Ethan questioned as Norman removed his hand from his shoulder. 

“Look, I don’t have much time, with the flight and all…” Norman pursed his lips; Ethan knew he was beyond nervous. He couldn't imagine what could cause him to lose his cool so much, but he knew he'd find out soon. An exasperated laugh escaped Norman's lips before he covered his face with his hands. “Ethan Mars, I wanted to tell you that I love you.” 

That was what it was. 

Norman drew his hands from his face as he looked at the older man. 

“Ethan…?” he whispered, his brows knitted with concern. 

The father snapped out of his daze as he focused his attention back up at Norman’s face. A smile grew on his lips as a warmth spread over him. 

“That's good to know, because I love you too,” he whispered breathlessly. 

The anxiety washed away from Norman’s face at the response. What replaced it was content. 

Ethan did the only thing he could think of. He grabbed Norman’s arm to pull him closer as he closed his eyes. He kissed him on the mouth, eliciting a soft sigh to come from the taller man’s lips. 

It lasted only seconds before the anxiety induced profiler pulled away from him. He cupped Ethan’s cheeks before he muttered, “Can I call you when I get home?” 

“Of course,” Ethan laughed, holding one of his hands briefly. Norman grinned as he removed his hands from his face, taking his leave from the Mars’ home for just a little while.


	13. Let's Move In Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yesssss i did change my user and before u ask i did it because its funny so theres ur answer
> 
> Also this was kinda a "warm up" maybe but thought I'd share it anyways   
> Im hogging this prompt thing

Norman’s hands held onto his morning coffee as if it was his lifeforce. Whenever he stayed over, Ethan would wake up alongside him despite that he could very well spend the time sleeping in. 

It was six in the morning, and Ethan was across from him at the table. They were both eating oatmeal, but Norman couldn't bring himself to touch his yet. His stomach was twisting, and his head was spinning. 

“Norman, are you okay?” Ethan asked, setting down his spoon and giving his full attention to the man across from him. 

They'd been together for a year soon. It'd be a year in November. He frequented Ethan’s apartment more and more, and he was now spending the night even when Shaun was staying with Ethan. He'd quit the FBI, so he'd been going home very rarely. 

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Sorry, Ethan…” He set his mug down and looked up at him, furrowing his brow. “I'm sorry, I wanted to ask you something.” 

“Yeah?” Ethan said calmly. “Tell me, Norm.” 

“I've been thinking about this a lot. I’ve been in Philly so long, and I'm barely home…” This wasn't the hardest thing he'd done by a long shot. This, by his standards, _should_ be easy. “I-... Ethan, let's move in together… Please?”

A silence fell over the breakfast table as Ethan pursed his lips. Norman could feel his face heating up, the embarrassment of being rejected hitting him hard. “I-I’m sorry, Ethan, I-” 

“I thought you… did live here,” Ethan replied, biting the inside of his cheek. 

“What?” 

“I… mean, you’ve got your stuff here… you're always here, and I can't remember the last time I slept alone…” Ethan muttered. 

“... And you're okay with it?” Norman asked quietly. 

“I love every second of it,” Ethan said with a smile. Norman quickly returned the smile, nodding his head slightly. 

“So you wouldn't mind if I-” 

“Half of my closet is yours. Go nuts, Norman. My home is your home,” Ethan replied, giving him that smirk that made his heart swell.


	14. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tag: depression and anxiety

No matter how much time has passed, there are still days when things are difficult. Ethan knows he is lucky to have what he has, he is fortunate to still be able to hold his son in his arms and smile and laugh beside him, but there are still days like this. Days where he wakes up and it’s like he can’t breathe properly, like when the air is too humid outside. Days where he feels either too much or too little. Days where he has thoughts he should have moved past on.

 

He is glad that Shaun is with his mother this whole week. Grace has taken him and her husband on a camping trip. Perhaps this will pass by the time his son returns to home, he hopes.

 

He doesn’t want to let Shaun see him like this; he has already been through enough. But the loneliness seems to multiply with every second. The silence in the house doesn’t help; emptiness expanding. He is staring at the white walls, blue eyes widening, pressure on his chest growing, heavier and heavier.

 

_Sunrise. Sunset. Sunrise. Sunset. Sunrise. Sunset. Sunrise……_

 

He doesn’t really know how many days it has been. He is sluggish all day and surviving off frozen TV dinners. By now he knows he needs to take better care of himself. He needs to at least do it for the sake of Shaun, but it’s so tiring. It’s so draining. He needs help. He knows he does. But he doesn’t know if he deserves it.

 

Ethan jolts awake from the couch when his phone goes off. Someone is calling him—an unusual occurrence. The man almost doesn’t want to answer; he doesn’t think he is in a state where he should welcome others into his space. Regardless, the faint curiosity overcomes his anxiety. He rubs the sleep away from his eyes and gawks at the contact name that is displayed on his phone screen: Norman Jayden.  

 

A name he thought he wouldn’t see again.

 

With shaky hands, Ethan presses the answer button on his phone. He thinks of everything he can say, but Norman is the first to speak. “Hello? Ethan? This is Jayden.” The agent’s voice is steady, smooth, easy to absorb. “I am sorry to call so suddenly, I just thought……I should probably see how you are doing since the case has been closed……To see if you need anything at all……” A quiet nervous creeps beneath Jayden’s layer of composure. Ethan is imagining the expression on Norman’s face right now, and betting on a mix of hesitancy and uncertainty.

 

“H-hey, Norman,I am fine.” Ethan takes a deep breath. He doesn’t know why hearing the agent’s voice brings him a pang of comfort. He doesn't even know he wants it this bad until he picked up the phone. The second he hears Norman’s voice, it’s like every wall he built around himself is crumpling to the ground. Instinctively, he wants to reach out to the man who has shown him kindness and understanding over and over again.“I am fine……” He tries to keep it together, he really does, but the moment his voice starts to break he knows it’s all over.

 

“Ethan? Is everything alright?” Although he can’t see the young bureaucrat right now, he can somehow picture the worried look on his face. Jayden isn’t just like any special agent, Ethan knows that for a fact, or else he wouldn’t have risked his future to release him from police custody. He doesn’t know why Norman is still bothering with him, caring enough to check on him after their paths separated. He feels a blend of gratefulness and guilt. Norman could have put his time into just about anything else, yet he chose him. “Ethan, please talk to me.”

 

“I……nothing is wrong but I just, don’t feel right.” The father is struggling to express his emotions. He feels like he has been in this empty void for so long, contact with anything other than his destructive thoughts seems foreign and unnatural. Covering his eyes with his free hand, Ethan sobs lowly into the phone. “I-I don’t know what is wrong with me, I am sorry, so sorry—”

 

“Where are you right now, are you at home?” Norman asks a little abruptly. Ethan can hear the sound of papers being shuttled. The agent must be clearing his desk right now.

 

“Y-yes……”

 

“Keep talking to me, Ethan.” And just like that, Norman mumbles the unbelievable.

 

“Don’t hang up the phone, I am on my way to you right now Ethan, I am coming to you.”

 

 

 

Ethan almost can’t believe it when he heard it on the phone, still can’t believe it when Norman arrives at his door. He knows he looks beyond pathetic, but the shock is so overwhelming, he thinks he must be dreaming.

 

Norman Jayden of the FBI drove two and a half hours from Washington to Philadelphia for him.

Just because of one call, a wish he didn’t even speak of, the younger man dropped everything and got on his car, started the engine, and drove all the way here. For him.

 

There isn’t much that can be said. Ethan swears his brain is still struggling to register what is going on, but his emotions take over in the matter of seconds when he feels Norman’s hand on his damp cheek.

 

“I am sorry.” Ethan sobs weakly, hugging his knees tighter. “I-I don’t know why I’m crying. You didn’t need to come all the way over here. I don’t know what’s going on. I am sorry……”

 

“Shhh, it’s okay, Ethan.” There is pain in Norman’s voice. His gentle green eyes are focused on him, but not in a way that makes Ethan want to cover himself and hide. There is warmth and kindness and empathy. “I came here because I wanted to. You are not alone, Ethan.” Norman’s hands are surprisingly soft, and his embrace, while timid at first, is inviting and comforting. Ethan accepts the hug hesitantly while more tears fall. “You are going to be okay, Ethan, we’ll figure something out.” With a soft whisper, Norman starts to rub his back, letting Ethan cry on him as long as he needed, until he falls asleep and finally gets some rest he needed for so long.

 

Ethan doesn’t know why Norman cares so much, just like how he doesn’t know why he is alright with Norman coming in here and seeing him like this, but what he knows that this is something that is good for him, and maybe he can learn to rely on another human being that is so willing to show him love. Because he just knows, he just have this feeling, that Norman won’t ever let him down.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love northan so much


End file.
